October 2009-Parent Tip on Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (E.Q.) is having the ability to read social cues, resiliency, having self-control when you are angry, solving problems without violence and showing empathy towards others. This is a learned skill. How to Raise a Child with a High E.Q. written by Lawrence Shapiro (1997) writes "Perhaps what is the most interesting about taking a role in your children's emotional education is that you are literally changing your children's brain chemistry, or more accurately, teaching them ways to control their brain functioning themselves. ...emotions are not abstract ideas that psychologists help us to name, but rather they are very real. They take the form of specific biochemicals that the brain produces and to which the body then reacts" (Shapiro, 1997).
"Solutions Tic-Tac-Toe" is a game based on Shapiro's love of games to help teach children skills in problem-solving. If your child has a problem, he or she can solve it by playing this game in which he/she is an "o" and you as the parent are the "x". How this works is that each of you take turns playing this game by offering solutions to his/her problem each time an "o" or an "x" is played. After one game the child will be equipped with several solutions for the problem.
Another way to practice the skill of empathy is to mute the volume on the television and ask your child what the people on t.v. are feeling and why they think this. This games hones in on nonverbal language which is over 50% of how we as humans communicatin. the rest is tone, words and volume. To increase critical thinking, have your child tally put-downs in shows and ask about them afterwards. (I use this activity as homework in 4th grade Steps to Respect after the lesson on Put-Downs.)
In my work with the students at St. Joe's I teach the students empathy, problem-solving, anger management, conflict resolution and ways to handle bullying. You can support these skills by asking your child about what they have learned in Second Step, Steps to Respect, Kelso's Choices, Conflict Resolution or other classes that I teach.
For more resources on improving the E.Q. skills of your child, please see the other parent tips as well as the bibliographies located on this website.
Thanks!
Jennifer Moyer-Taylor
School Counselor
Emotional Intelligence (E.Q.) is having the ability to read social cues, resiliency, having self-control when you are angry, solving problems without violence and showing empathy towards others. This is a learned skill. How to Raise a Child with a High E.Q. written by Lawrence Shapiro (1997) writes "Perhaps what is the most interesting about taking a role in your children's emotional education is that you are literally changing your children's brain chemistry, or more accurately, teaching them ways to control their brain functioning themselves. ...emotions are not abstract ideas that psychologists help us to name, but rather they are very real. They take the form of specific biochemicals that the brain produces and to which the body then reacts" (Shapiro, 1997).
"Solutions Tic-Tac-Toe" is a game based on Shapiro's love of games to help teach children skills in problem-solving. If your child has a problem, he or she can solve it by playing this game in which he/she is an "o" and you as the parent are the "x". How this works is that each of you take turns playing this game by offering solutions to his/her problem each time an "o" or an "x" is played. After one game the child will be equipped with several solutions for the problem.
Another way to practice the skill of empathy is to mute the volume on the television and ask your child what the people on t.v. are feeling and why they think this. This games hones in on nonverbal language which is over 50% of how we as humans communicatin. the rest is tone, words and volume. To increase critical thinking, have your child tally put-downs in shows and ask about them afterwards. (I use this activity as homework in 4th grade Steps to Respect after the lesson on Put-Downs.)
In my work with the students at St. Joe's I teach the students empathy, problem-solving, anger management, conflict resolution and ways to handle bullying. You can support these skills by asking your child about what they have learned in Second Step, Steps to Respect, Kelso's Choices, Conflict Resolution or other classes that I teach.
For more resources on improving the E.Q. skills of your child, please see the other parent tips as well as the bibliographies located on this website.
Thanks!
Jennifer Moyer-Taylor
School Counselor