November/December-Parent Tip on Moods Swings in Adolescence
As middle schoolers grows up and become much more aware of their surroundings, they also realize that parents are no longer "super-human" like when they were younger, but that they make mistakes too. This can lead to them feeling embarrassed and mortified by some of the things you do. This stage is a mirror image of the toddler years. Instead of trying to make the concrete more abstract (making sense of symbols); teens try and make the abstract more concrete ("What does this have to do with me right now?). They need to feel like what they are learning or doing actually applies to them and will benefit them in the future. This is important when your teen asks "Why do I have to do this?", that instead of "Because you just do." you state "If you do your homework, you will be able to go to the dance on Saturday. But if grades go down, we will pull that privledge."
Middle schoolers are dealing with being pulled in by their peers and wanting to spend less time with parents. However, supervision is very important still at this age. Middle schoolers want to feel more independent, but consider the fact they still can be impulsive and attracted to pleasure seeking activities that might be risky for them. They are too young for high school responsibilities but too old for elementary ones. Gauge how your child does in school that first semester with less supervision and see how it goes. If grades go down, then begin a more structured approach with your middle schooler.
Please feel free to check out the "Your 7th Grader" and "Your 8th Grader" developmental sheets located in the "Developmental Stages" section of this website for more information on a 7th and 8th graders social, behavioral, and communication stages.
Thanks,
Jennifer Moyer-Taylor, MSW, LICSW
Middle schoolers are dealing with being pulled in by their peers and wanting to spend less time with parents. However, supervision is very important still at this age. Middle schoolers want to feel more independent, but consider the fact they still can be impulsive and attracted to pleasure seeking activities that might be risky for them. They are too young for high school responsibilities but too old for elementary ones. Gauge how your child does in school that first semester with less supervision and see how it goes. If grades go down, then begin a more structured approach with your middle schooler.
Please feel free to check out the "Your 7th Grader" and "Your 8th Grader" developmental sheets located in the "Developmental Stages" section of this website for more information on a 7th and 8th graders social, behavioral, and communication stages.
Thanks,
Jennifer Moyer-Taylor, MSW, LICSW