February 2010-Tips on Teenage Dating
I felt like it would be appropriate for me to focus on your child and dating and the issues around this major milestone, in the month of February. According to an article from the NYU Study Center titled "Boyfriends, Girlfriends: What Parents Need to Know about Teenage Dating by Anita Gurian, "They (psychology experts) believe that pre-teen girls and boys should participate in supervised group activiies, such as roller skating, school dances, or sports events, and movies. One to one dating is appropriate for older teens." The article continues to state that group activities should continue until age 16, but some state the cut-off is high school.
Pre-teens (9-12) may say they have a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" but usually it involves texting or telephone. Most teenagers become interested in dating and it is more like a trial and error of sorts and a give and take of relatinships through practice and experience. They are just learning about the opposite sex, practicing social skills and learning to support one another.
There are some risks of teenage dating, however, including dating abuse, break-up harassment via text or forwarding of inappropriate pictures. If you notice behavior or emotional changes in your pre-teen or teenager, this could be a sign of abuse or harassment.
In a teen suvey, one in five girls stated they were threatened by their boyfriend that if they broke up with their partner, physical abuse would occur. Most likely the girls would report this to their friends, so for you as a parent, it is important to have good relationships with your daughter or son's friends to increase the chance of them reporting to you if your child is being harmed by someone.
In general, as with everything, keeping in close communication/supervision of your child is the key to preventing your daughter or son to get in over their head with the opposite sex. In general, follow the guidelines above and don't be afraid to let your child know there will be random checks on their computer or phone for supervising content and taking the temperature on a relationship.
Thanks!
Jennifer Moyer-Taylor
School Counselor
Pre-teens (9-12) may say they have a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" but usually it involves texting or telephone. Most teenagers become interested in dating and it is more like a trial and error of sorts and a give and take of relatinships through practice and experience. They are just learning about the opposite sex, practicing social skills and learning to support one another.
There are some risks of teenage dating, however, including dating abuse, break-up harassment via text or forwarding of inappropriate pictures. If you notice behavior or emotional changes in your pre-teen or teenager, this could be a sign of abuse or harassment.
In a teen suvey, one in five girls stated they were threatened by their boyfriend that if they broke up with their partner, physical abuse would occur. Most likely the girls would report this to their friends, so for you as a parent, it is important to have good relationships with your daughter or son's friends to increase the chance of them reporting to you if your child is being harmed by someone.
In general, as with everything, keeping in close communication/supervision of your child is the key to preventing your daughter or son to get in over their head with the opposite sex. In general, follow the guidelines above and don't be afraid to let your child know there will be random checks on their computer or phone for supervising content and taking the temperature on a relationship.
Thanks!
Jennifer Moyer-Taylor
School Counselor