April 2010-Parent Tip on Teaching Manners
Manners are cultural behaviors that may differ from one family to another. Children are not born with manners therefore they must be taught and shown to them. Once you as a parent decide which manners are important to you, for example; saying please and thank you, holding the door for others, not burping, not picking one's nose, eating with their mouth closed or no elbows on the table, you can begin to think about how to teach these to your children.
The first and most important way to teach your child is to lead by example. If you eat with your mouth closed and keep your elbows off the table, your children will imitate this over time. It is important to compliment when your child shows good manners and be specific. If you are wanting to remind your child about a particular behavior and don't want to embarass them in front of others, you can develop a secret signal to communicate that they need to think about how they are behavior.
One way to get all of the members in the family involved at dinner time is to have "manners candles". Choose three candles to place in the middle of the table at dinner time and every time someone breaks an etiquette rule, a candle gets blown out. If there is at least one candle remaining, everyone gets dessert (or another positive reinforcer.)
For younger children, tea parties work really well to role-play how to eat properly, pass food properly or showing how to have a conversation at the dinner table without anyone interrupting.
For more information, please feel free to call me or check the parent and child's bibliography on this webpage.
Thanks!
Jennifer Moyer-Taylor
School Counselor
The first and most important way to teach your child is to lead by example. If you eat with your mouth closed and keep your elbows off the table, your children will imitate this over time. It is important to compliment when your child shows good manners and be specific. If you are wanting to remind your child about a particular behavior and don't want to embarass them in front of others, you can develop a secret signal to communicate that they need to think about how they are behavior.
One way to get all of the members in the family involved at dinner time is to have "manners candles". Choose three candles to place in the middle of the table at dinner time and every time someone breaks an etiquette rule, a candle gets blown out. If there is at least one candle remaining, everyone gets dessert (or another positive reinforcer.)
For younger children, tea parties work really well to role-play how to eat properly, pass food properly or showing how to have a conversation at the dinner table without anyone interrupting.
For more information, please feel free to call me or check the parent and child's bibliography on this webpage.
Thanks!
Jennifer Moyer-Taylor
School Counselor